Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sea Day

Sea day. Once fully awake I discovered another bruise on my right wrist. I found it because I found blood on my bed sheets. I then just followed the trail and wa la. Whatever leaked the blood on bed was no longer there. So I had to go to deductive reasoning. First thought was to fully wake up and try to remember if I had done something to offend Bobbi that would cause her to get really mad at me and thus cut my throat. She claims I offend her all the time but I did not remember anything more offensive then the usual offences, she has become use to. Just to be sure, I did check my neck anyhow. I felt my neck and found nothing there, but as my hand was coming back from feeling my neck, wa la.

Wa la must be a French word and I am sure I am spelling it wrong. When these French folk bring me something they usually say wa la as they put it on the table. In the French restaurant they make a big production of having several wait staff remove the large silver plate covers all at once and then they say wa la. It must mean something like, there it is. But I digress.

Back to the mystery. There on my still moving right wrist was some blood. I examined my wrist and sure enough. This was not just a spot where blood had dropped, but the source of the blood. Am I Sherlock or what?

Bobbi did have a few Band-Aids and I had Neosporin. I washed the wound with soap and water and after drying it I placed aforementioned medication and Band-Aid upon it. I believe I successfully completed the procedure in time and amputation will not be necessary.

Once in daylight, the mark on my head, mentioned yesterday, looked far worse. Many people asked what happened to me, all day long. As I said I would, I just replied, “she did it.”

Those of you concerned with my other malady. Thank you very much for caring. I received 23 emails on the subject, believe it or not. They were pretty much divided between those sounding genuinely concerned with my health and those who gleefully taunted me. For that second group. I have written your names on a piece of paper. When I get to the holy land I am going to pray for you to experience the same problem, first hand! I even got one from my accountant. This is of course tax season. He never even answers my phone calls this time of year, and I sometimes even pay him for his services. But he did, not only, take the time to read this crap. He was one of those who couldn’t wait to write about his happiness to hear of my unfortunate situation. I think that is good reason to put him at the top of that list. And to think they made all those nasty lawyer jokes and never a word about CPAs. I wouldn’t mention his name, but Your turn is coming,

“JIM”!


As for the problem that caused so many responses. There has been no reoccurrence. Actually, there has been nothing and soon I may be looking for the Ex Lax or something. But do not fear. Now knowing how interested everyone is, about my bowels, I will keep you informed.

Banged Bloodied Bloated Bandied Sherman Out

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